Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Guest Blogger: Natalia M. Reviews Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Writers: Tommy Wirkola
Genre: Action, Fantasy, Horror
Run time: 88 minutes
My score: 5/10
Hansel and Gretel have grown up now and they are famous witch hunters. As a rare witch event approaches and while they are on the hunt secrets from the past unveil.
What I think of the film (Spoilers)
Yes ladies and gentlemen, Hollywood decided to destroy yet another fairy tail that we grew up loving. But beware, this movie is not for children, there is just enough blood and gore to make them cry every time they see snow white's witch. From the good old pull simultaneously all limbs away to massive troll stomps on a man's head. Good times eh?
The story wasn't too impressive. You get a bit of the original story of two siblings abandoned in the forest by their father and they found a candy house that belonged to a witch and it was obviously a trap for her to eat them but the managed to throw her in the furnace and burned her alive. That though is just the beginning of the movie. In case, i guess, someone doesn't know who they are. Then you get a 3 minutes kinda animated intro/credits, which i found a bit too long, showing how Hansel and Gretel became witch hunters after they killed the one from the original story and how they became famous. And then the movie starts. There are quite a few of the stereotypical side characters such as the young kid that's a big fan, the witch that doesn't look like one, the random bad guy that he just exist to make the main characters' life difficult and the helpful assistant that got assigned by the people who hired the main characters and you just know he'll be dead before the middle of the movie. As you would expect from an action/horror not many people survive. Interesting bit of the story was that Hansel has to take insulin injections because he ate too much candy that the OS(original story)'s witch forced him to.
The make up in this movie when it comes to witches was dreadful The villain of the movie, the supreme witch looked like she was wearing Halloween white face paint dark lipstick, lots of eyeliner and veins drawn on the face with the same eyeliner. Also one of her sidekicks looked like a Goth man from the 90's and no it wasn't a man. I mean just look at this:
The special effects, can't say were too special. Even Hansel had a Neo moment with a crossbow arrow. Nothing we haven't seen before. One more last thing that I just noticed is the poster. At the background of the main poster there is snowy trees and mountains. There isn’t any in the movie. False advertisement I say.
I can't say that i enjoyed this movie but can't say that i absolutely hated it. It is not a memorable movie. I have already forgotten most parts of it while I'm writing this review. It definitely doesn't worth the money you'll pay to see it in the movies or even rent it. If you ever come across it on the TV fair enough but definitely if you have something better to watch or do at the time continue as normal like it wasn't even there. You won't regret it.
As Keith Uhlich from Time Out New York said "It's a grim fairy tale, all right"
Review by: Natalia M. from http://beware-the-spoilers.tumblr.com